Friday, July 15, 2011

A Changed Skeleton

 Well, first thing Walter did once he realized I could read and write was to put me to work in his office. It wasn't THAT bad I guess. Crunching numbers or something like that is what he called it. Playing with a freakin calculator is what I called it, but don't tell him that.
 Once I finished playing in the office, I thought I would go scope out the chicks near the water fountain. I waited. And waited. And waited. Finally I said what the heck and helped myself to a gallon of that stuff. Let's just say that it didn't take long for me to realize that just because I am made of foam, doesn't mean I can keep all that water in my system.
 Before long, I found myself at the urinal. You did know that isn't rock candy in the bottom of those things, right? Oh, you did know that? Well thanks for the heads up. Sheesh, what's a skeleton got to do around here for someone to throw him a freakin bone??? Like I even knew what a urinal was....
This last photo really struck a nerve with me. It was the first time I actually saw myself. Now here I was, a literate skeleton seeking a new life. I had a library card and internet access. I could charm old ladies and pee standing up. By golly, it was time for a change. The first thing that had to go was this stupid outfit I was wearing. I said to myself, "Self, (yes, I still called myself that. As if you thought I was gonna change it or something) I think I know what I need to do. I need to upgrade my wardrobe." And that's exactly what I did next.

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