Friday, July 15, 2011


 So there I was, propped up against a tree in a little town called Lakeland. The yard sale was going pretty good, but I was worried that nobody wanted me. You see, for me, "Life ain't been no crystal stair."
 I started my career in a theme park nearby. You may have heard of this one, it's called Wild Adventures. Every Fall they would dress me up and put me out to scare the visitors. What a freakin stereotype if you ask me. Just cause I'm a skeleton doesn't mean I want to scare people. I'm a people skeleton. I mean, come on, haven't you ever heard of Casper the FRIENDLY Ghost? Not all skeletons are bad. Just sayin...
 Okay, where was I? Oh yes, for some reason, maybe because I lost a finger and a complete foot, the "management" at Wild Adventures felt that I was no longer of service to them. It was then that I was about to get my freedom. Or so I thought.......
 There were lots of stipulations upon my release. First of all, I was still going to be used to scare people. This lady in Lakeland had a problem with strangers walking through her yard at night. Somehow she found me and thought that I would make the perfect "Scarecrow" or something like that. Anywho, she propped me up on her porch and miraculously, people stopped walking through there.
 Here I thought I was being paroled and now I was forced to do my work full time. At least with the theme park I was able get cozy in the storage building with the cute cat ladies and funny looking pumpkin critters and such. Not now. Now I was forced to stand on a porch 24-7 and scare people from walking through some woman's yard. Let's just say I was hoping for a change.
Finally, in September of 2010, I was free. "Free at last, Free at Last." The lady must have gotten all the use out of me as she could. That or she needed the money. One Saturday morning she decided to have a yard sale. A sale on the very same day that the scouting community would gather at Camp Patten. A day when Walter Goff would see a bargain and jump on it before it slipped away.

I saw him as he passed by. His eyes bugged out when he saw me standing next to the pecan tree. I heard the squeak of his brakes as he whipped his truck around and headed back to get a closer look. I swear, you would have thought he was on the beach with a pair of binoculars when a pretty blonde walked past. Walter knew he saw something special. He knew that there was more to me than just an opportunity to scare people. Walter was willing to give me LIFE........

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